Friday, Sept. 19. Hello, I’m Christie and I drove alone for the first time. I’m blessed that my radio works. Well it works and then stops within 20 minutes. Picked up Chanh from her house and she brought a cassette cable to plug in iPhone music. Omg, that thing is a life saver. Driving in car is too hot, I can’t wait until winter. Bless Chanh for being with me to help me with GPS and driving to school via local lanes. I’m sorry, I tend to sing to every song off key AHA. And scream when I brake too hard or when a car changes lane— ; u ; anywho, made it safely. weeps, Chanh said I’m good at driving, it’s just that I brake too hard. I think my parking and reversing suck, too. First stop at Verde. Pudding milk tea is jjang ♡♡ Milk tea vibe too strong. Drove to school to look for classes. I hope I remember the way to my classrooms. Went to 85 Degrees Bakery, life is niceu. Bread is lifeu. And on the way home, I was trying to change lanes. And I’ve been signalling for the longest time in traffic and I gave up. And this really nice ahjusshi left a gap for me to change lanes, ah arigatou. ♡ But ended up not switching lanes until next stop light ; u ; oho, ends post here.
Thursday, Sept. 18. I’m immensely attached to The Vampire Diaries right now. I’m hitting Season 4, but school’s starting on Monday so I have to quit watching. Why did I ever stop watching during the summer? Mom bought me sushi and more importantly, car insurance! I’m so proud of mother for trying raw sushi even though she doesn’t like sushi in general. Took Mother to the market for the first time with Boong Boongie ♡ ; — ; makes me jealous of my friends bc their relationship with their mother are really close and cute. can’t even convo with mother without a lecture or being called dumb. crying, mother is more strict than driving instructor. I’m sorry, it was my first time driving Boong Boongie and I’m not used to the brake and gas petal. Found out the speed meter is broken, sigh pie. Spent the rest of the day being unproductive.
Wednesday, Sept. 17. I was in need of a new change so I dyed my hair intense burgundy. I love Garnier Fructis hair dye, it smells like fruits. I guess my hair wouldn’t dye anymore so the roots remained black and top of my hair turned burgundy while the rest was brownish blonde. Sobs, how grotesque. Done with hair right now. But I don’t want to go black yet. New hair, new person c’:
Monday, Sept. 15. I’m so tired of people. Maybe it’s just another phase. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me anymore. My feelings fluctuate from being happy to sad back within terminal velocity. Even the silliest little thing can irk my negative emotions. One second, I’m fine and the next I feel like completely decimating myself. And the tears won’t stop no matter what. I’ve been crying myself to sleep again for the past three months. I keep over thinking about excessive problems that don’t matter. I thought I stopped myself but I’m turning back into an introvert. My social anxiety is relapsing; I can’t talk to people. And I think I found my trigger for my sadness. I guess I better stay off mainstream social networking like Facebook and Twitter for a while. I need to concentrate more on school. I hope I’ll feel better by the time I come across this entry. Goodbye for now.
P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”
1. People will promise to never leave you. They will. It’s okay to be sad when they do.
2. It is always okay to cry. Always. Find a bathroom, bury your face in your pillow, and let it out. Cry in the shower. Cry in the car. Cry when you need to.
3. Boys will flirt with you for a while and then ignore you. Then, they will flirt with you some more. It will be confusing. You have every right to stop putting up with it.
4. Pay attention to what people say when they’re angry. When you make up and they tell you they didn’t mean any of it, know that they did. Also know that they wish they didn’t. Forgive them.
5. Never pretend to be someone you’re not. If you don’t like tea and classic novels, don’t act like you do to impress people. If you don’t want to wear leather jackets and combat boots, don’t wear them to please someone else.
6. People will be mean to you; they will spread lies, call you names, and talk about you behind your back. Eventually you will realize that it is petty and stupid and not worth your time. You’ll be right. Move on with your life.
7. Your friends will not always be there for you. When you really need to talk, they will sometimes not want to hear it. That’s okay. Take a deep breath and remember all the times you felt the same way. Exhale.
8. You will wait and wait and wait for your first kiss and your first date and your first relationship. The anticipation will kill you. You will keep trying to find the right person in everyone you meet. Relax. There’s no rush. The best things happen unplanned.
9. Enjoy being young. Love that everything is spontaneous. As you get older, things become more and more scheduled out. Embrace the fact that you aren’t there yet.
10. Tell people how you feel. It will be terrifying in some cases and gratifying in others. It will create relationships and ruin them. But speak your mind, even if your voice shakes, because your thoughts may never otherwise be heard.
11. Sleep. If you go to bed late, sleep in. If you’re still tired when you wake up, go back to bed. If you can’t stay awake during the day, take a nap. Sleeping is a foolproof way of getting rid of your problems for a little while. Utilize it.
12. Talk to people. Talk to your sister about the guy she likes. Talk to your mom about her childhood. Talk to your dad about his favorite books. Talk to your grandparents about their families. Talk to your friends, talk to your pets, talk to the cute waitress at the restaurant. Learn things from them. Be inspired.
13. Always bring a sweater. Even if you think it won’t be cold.
14. Try new things. Eat a new food, try a new kind of juice, switch up the way you dress. You never know what you might end up loving. Life can get boring. Mix it up a bit.
15. Take care of yourself. Wash your hair with that good smelling soap you love. Eat fruits and vegetables. Drink lots of water. Go for long walks in pretty parks.
16. School is important. Try your hardest. If you don’t get something, ask for help. Do your homework. Show your teachers that you’re willing to work hard, and when it comes time to apply to colleges, you’ll be glad you did.
17. There will always be someone prettier, smarter, funnier, or more popular than you. The beauty of it is that it isn’t a competition.
17 things I learned by 17 (via h-auptgewinn)