maybe one day, i'll meet you in another life
Everybody isn’t your friend. Just because they hang around you and laugh with you doesn’t mean they’re for you. Just because they say they got your back, doesn’t mean they won’t stab you in it. People pretend well. Jealousy sometimes doesn’t live far. So know your circle. At the end of the day, real situations expose fake people, so pay attention.

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(6) Saturday, Sept. 21. Hanging out in my crib, yo. Selfie Sunday!!11 I don’t know what’s up with my pose, o k. Snorts o u o back here in bestie’s room again. It’s been like a week since I came over. feels weird driving myself to her house bc she usually picks me up or makes me bus/walk. I miss seeing my bae (Jamille) who needs a Quynh?? ? Tired of Quynh’s constant “I’m mad at you“‘s and judgment but forgives her bc she still ends up feeding me her AHAH. friendship over everything but srsly really tired bc she tells me to makes my own decisions but in the end, she’ll be like see, i’m always right. wheeze, ends rant. Drove her to Grand Century and back, then the story’s Target and back. Much sick of story road for the day tbh. Tried to help her on psychology hw LOL bless physio kinda helped with the nervous system. Ate spaghetti, s obs Mama Le’s spaghetti is the best. Ugh, kinda mad at best for returning the candy she wanted me to buy for her. What even— done with her princess syndrome. makes me feel sad bc I bought it for her?? ? And I’m not going to eat it, so basically wasted my money. : ( sighs. Driving is exhausting and draining my energy tbqh. Merging lanes scare the heck out of me bc I don’t pay attention to those, wheeze. Came home and took the most nicest nap ever. I didn’t mean to fall asleep — o n o ;; I was hoping to wake up at 9 am instead of 9 pm. Woke up to emails from math and english prof. Man, taking my least favorite subjects this quarter. I feel stressed just thinking about it. Looking at the math review makes me cry because I don’t remember any of this. Aiming for a 4.0; I don’t want to screw up again. People tell me not to be so hard on myself, but I feel like I’m not putting in a lot of effort. Sighs, my english has been degrading since high school. Jello makes me jealous with his deep english. Really nervous and there’s a text book required for english that wasn’t listed in the bookstore page, cry. Prays text books aren’t needed first day of school. Wanting to do some stress relieving clothing shopping. Asked best to go with me, but she says that i’m all about the looks for college. what even— : ( tired of being called names that hurt a lot, sighs. i should just go shopping alone?? ? i really hope she doesn’t pull the “i’m mad at you” thing again sighpie. goodnight, i vented so much today. it’s already 1:11 am. i don’t think i can do anymore 365’s once school starts. 


Friday, Sept. 19. Hello, I’m Christie and I drove alone for the first time. I’m blessed that my radio works. Well it works and then stops within 20 minutes. Picked up Chanh from her house and she brought a cassette cable to plug in iPhone music. Omg, that thing is a life saver. Driving in car is too hot, I can’t wait until winter. Bless Chanh for being with me to help me with GPS and driving to school via local lanes. I’m sorry, I tend to sing to every song off key AHA. And scream when I brake too hard or when a car changes lane— ; u ; anywho, made it safely. weeps, Chanh said I’m good at driving, it’s just that I brake too hard. I think my parking and reversing suck, too. First stop at Verde. Pudding milk tea is jjang ♡ Milk tea vibe too strong. Drove to school to look for classes. I hope I remember the way to my classrooms. Went to 85 Degrees Bakery, life is niceu. Bread is lifeu. And on the way home, I was trying to change lanes. And I’ve been signalling for the longest time in traffic and I gave up. And this really nice ahjusshi left a gap for me to change lanes, ah arigatou. ♡ But ended up not switching lanes until next stop light ; u ; oho, ends post here.


Thursday, Sept. 18. I’m immensely attached to The Vampire Diaries right now. I’m hitting Season 4, but school’s starting on Monday so I have to quit watching. Why did I ever stop watching during the summer? Mom bought me sushi and more importantly, car insurance! I’m so proud of mother for trying raw sushi even though she doesn’t like sushi in general. Took Mother to the market for the first time with Boong Boongie ♡ ; — ; makes me jealous of my friends bc their relationship with their mother are really close and cute. can’t even convo with mother without a lecture or being called dumb. crying, mother is more strict than driving instructor. I’m sorry, it was my first time driving Boong Boongie and I’m not used to the brake and gas petal. Found out the speed meter is broken, sigh pie. Spent the rest of the day being unproductive.


Wednesday, Sept. 17. I was in need of a new change so I dyed my hair intense burgundy. I love Garnier Fructis hair dye, it smells like fruits. I guess my hair wouldn’t dye anymore so the roots remained black and top of my hair turned burgundy while the rest was brownish blonde. Sobs, how grotesque. Done with hair right now. But I don’t want to go black yet. New hair, new person c’:

(2) Tuesday, Sept. 16. A day spent with Chanh! Half laugh, half cries at our somewhat adventure. We were supposed to bus to De Anza for preparation of not having rides to school. Note to self: Never walk to her house again. Welp. We weren’t sure of when to cross the street because the light was green. She kinda shoved me in the street and we barely took two steps and the light turned red on us </3. Ran back to sidewalk, how embarrassing HAHA. So we were waiting at the bus stop around noon, and the bus was pretty late. I would say around thirty minutes late? Hence, we decided to go to the 73 bus instead of the 26 bus. Midway the 26 comes and we literally ran like idiots to catch it. And then 3 miles away from her house, mom decides to call me and tells me to go home for car. We had to bus home ; —- ; and ran from her house to my house bc I thought my uncle was waiting. Thank you so much, chingu! Always walking and exercising with me c’: hehe. Turns out uncle went back to autoshop ; u ; weeps, I’m so blessed with my dad’s side. Thank you, auntie for giving me your old car. Brings back so much memories bc she used to take me everywhere with this car. Named car Boong Boongie ♡ Made Chanh eat canh chua , washed car, took selfies on polaroid. She drove me to target around 6 and we ate pizza nomnom. I still think she drives like a granny heh. Went to Cool Tea Bar ^ ^ first timer. Saw so many familiar faces, I can’t even. Much lazy to put details. Anywho, thanks Chanh for today! 


Monday, Sept. 15. I’m so tired of people. Maybe it’s just another phase. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me anymore. My feelings fluctuate from being happy to sad back within terminal velocity. Even the silliest little thing can irk my negative emotions. One second, I’m fine and the next I feel like completely decimating myself. And the tears won’t stop no matter what. I’ve been crying myself to sleep again for the past three months. I keep over thinking about excessive problems that don’t matter. I thought I stopped myself but I’m turning back into an introvert. My social anxiety is relapsing; I can’t talk to people. And I think I found my trigger for my sadness. I guess I better stay off mainstream social networking like Facebook and Twitter for a while. I need to concentrate more on school. I hope I’ll feel better by the time I come across this entry. Goodbye for now.

I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.

Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”

#613: How do I reach out to my friends who have depression? | Captain Awkward

P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”

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(via cynori)

1. People will promise to never leave you. They will. It’s okay to be sad when they do.

2. It is always okay to cry. Always. Find a bathroom, bury your face in your pillow, and let it out. Cry in the shower. Cry in the car. Cry when you need to.

3. Boys will flirt with you for a while and then ignore you. Then, they will flirt with you some more. It will be confusing. You have every right to stop putting up with it.

4. Pay attention to what people say when they’re angry. When you make up and they tell you they didn’t mean any of it, know that they did. Also know that they wish they didn’t. Forgive them.

5. Never pretend to be someone you’re not. If you don’t like tea and classic novels, don’t act like you do to impress people. If you don’t want to wear leather jackets and combat boots, don’t wear them to please someone else.

6. People will be mean to you; they will spread lies, call you names, and talk about you behind your back. Eventually you will realize that it is petty and stupid and not worth your time. You’ll be right. Move on with your life.

7. Your friends will not always be there for you. When you really need to talk, they will sometimes not want to hear it. That’s okay. Take a deep breath and remember all the times you felt the same way. Exhale.

8. You will wait and wait and wait for your first kiss and your first date and your first relationship. The anticipation will kill you. You will keep trying to find the right person in everyone you meet. Relax. There’s no rush. The best things happen unplanned.

9. Enjoy being young. Love that everything is spontaneous. As you get older, things become more and more scheduled out. Embrace the fact that you aren’t there yet.

10. Tell people how you feel. It will be terrifying in some cases and gratifying in others. It will create relationships and ruin them. But speak your mind, even if your voice shakes, because your thoughts may never otherwise be heard.

11. Sleep. If you go to bed late, sleep in. If you’re still tired when you wake up, go back to bed. If you can’t stay awake during the day, take a nap. Sleeping is a foolproof way of getting rid of your problems for a little while. Utilize it.

12. Talk to people. Talk to your sister about the guy she likes. Talk to your mom about her childhood. Talk to your dad about his favorite books. Talk to your grandparents about their families. Talk to your friends, talk to your pets, talk to the cute waitress at the restaurant. Learn things from them. Be inspired.

13. Always bring a sweater. Even if you think it won’t be cold.

14. Try new things. Eat a new food, try a new kind of juice, switch up the way you dress. You never know what you might end up loving. Life can get boring. Mix it up a bit.

15. Take care of yourself. Wash your hair with that good smelling soap you love. Eat fruits and vegetables. Drink lots of water. Go for long walks in pretty parks.

16. School is important. Try your hardest. If you don’t get something, ask for help. Do your homework. Show your teachers that you’re willing to work hard, and when it comes time to apply to colleges, you’ll be glad you did.

17. There will always be someone prettier, smarter, funnier, or more popular than you. The beauty of it is that it isn’t a competition.

17 things I learned by 17 (via h-auptgewinn)

(Source: ive-been-john-watsoned, via sukida-yo)